Oh ... Really?

Here Comes the Bride

Or is that Bridezilla?

Some folks (ahem) might agree with the latter being the case.

I am really, really trying to stay calm and relaxed about this whole thing. I am! I specifically planned this thing to be casual, laid back and unstructured so that I could just enjoy the months and weeks beforehand with no worries, no stress, no fuss.

Ha! Ha ha HA!

Instead I am stressed to the max, alternating between snarling and laughing hysterically. I freak out over the littlest thing and will burst into tears for no reason. There have been recent events that have me feeling angry, resentful and hurt ... but I have no right to be that way. So I am angry with myself for reacting like that. I feel like it indicates a weakness of faith. Mostly, I am just overwhelmed because I don't think I have enough time to get everything done and/or do it right.

The biggest thing has been my dress ... I haven't been able to find one. Well, I did, but before I could get it ordered, it sold out. Everything else I looked at after that did not measure up. I finally ordered four dresses, one of them surely will do. None of them particularly thrill me and/or I am concerned about the fit - being 5' 1" makes dresses hard to fit. Being a bit overweight makes it even tougher.

And speaking of overweight, that's been my #2 stress factor. I have been starving on a 1000 - 1200 calorie a day diet and busting my behind working out 3 days a week, and then limping around with sore muscles all the time. I have yet to lose more than 2 pounds (and then I gain back 3), and I am still the same size. I am perplexed, not to mention disgusted and depressed. I have recently changed my work-out routine to less emphasis on aerobics, more on intense strength training and, of course, yoga. There's not much more I can do with the diet, I can't go much lower than 1000 calories a day and I am already focused on lean meats, veggies, fruits and whole grains. This week I started a cleansing routine ... and that is all I have to say about that, lest we stray into TMI territory.

Oh crud ... we just realized we don't have a photographer yet! I hope Rich's nephew's wife can step up for us!

Anyway, the rest of it has worked out OK so far, despite my tendency to freak out. I designed the invitations and Rich got them printed up, and we got them sent out - and better late than never! I have purchased the silk flowers for the bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages and decorations. I know what I want the cake to look like, we have the ceremony written and the music for it as well. I had the reception food planned out but it looks like other family members have taken that over. It's just as well, I don't plan on being there for long because we will want to hit the road as soon as politely possible.

So, you're middle aged, the kids are grown (or nearly so), you've met your best friend and soul mate and now you've gotten married ... what are you going to do next?

We're going to Disney World!

Posted by LissaKay on 03/10/09 at 12:44 AM in Matters of the Heart
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