Oh ... Really?

Category: Humor

Monday, March 19, 2007

I punched a llama because your mom’s cool

I don't do memes. Usually. But I am procrastinating because I am totally lost on this essay I have to do. I could find more interesting ways to procrastinate ... like install the new hardware I got for my computer ... or get my weekly fix of JACK (Which I will do anyway .. heh!) This assignment just ain't happening, kids ... Oh well.

Swiped from Busymom.net - "I danced with a spoon because I'm a ninja."

Pick the month you were born
Pick the day (number) you were born
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

Now type out the sentence you made using the answers below:

Posted by LissaKay on 03/19/07 at 08:10 PM in ~ Humor
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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Top O’ the Evening to Ye

Seein' as how I am a wee bit of an Irish lassie (I'm a redheaded Irish Italian Aries ... Whew!), and this bein' the day when everyone's a wee bit Irish, I will share my favorite Irish jokes.

Imagine how different the war in Iraq would be if it were the Irish that went:

Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello". The voice at the end of the phone says "Hello Mr. Hussein, it's Paddy here. I'm just a-ringin' ta let ye know that we've declared war on your country."

SH smiles to himself, "Come on Paddy", he says, "there's no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn't stand a chance." Paddy replies, "No, no,we've had ourselves a meetin' and we've decided te declare war on ye."

So SH says, "OK Paddy, now listen, I've got an air force of over a thousand planes, what kind of air force have you got to match that? It'd be over in no time." So Paddy says, "Well me laddy's got himself a hot-air balloon, and me brother used to work at an airport." Hussein laughs, "Oh come on, you've not got a hope". "Hold on a sec, Mr.Hussein, ", Paddy says, "we'll just have a quick meetin'."

So off he goes and has a quick meetin' down at the pub. "Are ye still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meetin', and we've decided that we're still going ta declare war." So SH says, "Right then Paddy, well you know, as well as the air force, we've also got about a thousand tanks. How are you going to match that.""Well," Paddy says, "I've got an old Austin, and my cousin down the road has got a tractor." "Get real, " says SH, "that's no match at all." So Paddy says, "Hold on, I'll just go and have another meetin'."

"Are ye still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meetin', and we've decided that we're still going to declare war." SH thinks this is just amazing. "Well how many soldiers have you got Paddy?".

"Well," says Paddy, "there's me, me kid, me 4 cousins, and they all have sons, and there's Bill down the road.... I reckon I could get together about 30." Laughing openly now SH replies, "Come on Paddy, I've got 10,000 highly trained fighting men at my disposal. I think you'd better go and have another meeting." "I will", says Paddy, "I will."

"Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meetin', and we've decided that we're not going to declare war on you after all."

"At last," replies SH, "What made you change your mind?"

"Well, it's those 10 thousand soldiers you see. We can't declare war on ye because we've not got the facilities to keep all those prisoners!"

Say Uncle, a righteous Irish laddy himself, is tellin' a tale or two to mark the day. His St. Paddy's day post quotes Sigmund Freud remarking on the Irish: "This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever."

Heh. Yeah. We are a breed apart. Other descriptives - eccentric, odd, don't play well with others, march to the beat of a different drummer. My fav, about Irish diplomacy: The ability to tell a man to go to hell so that he will look forward to making the trip.

A couple more jokes, about Irish lassies:

Four Irish ladies are having coffee together.
The first one tells her friends,"My son is a Priest. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Father'."
The second one chirps "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, everyone says' your Grace'."
The third lady says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Eminence'.">>>
The fourth lady sips her coffee in silence. The first three ladies all ask, "Well...?" She replies, "My son is a 6' 2" hard-bodied stripper, and hung like a rhino. When he walks into a room, everyone says, 'Oh, my God...'!"
Seamus left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys at the pub and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

imageHappy St. Patrick's Day!

Posted by LissaKay on 03/17/07 at 11:06 PM in ~ Humor
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Have you ROFL’d lately?

WARNING: Finish all beverages and snacks, and empty the bladder before watching this video. You may want to have tissues on hand. You may experience abdominal muscle soreness tomorrow.

You have been warned.

H/T: SaaM

Posted by LissaKay on 01/10/07 at 12:41 AM in ~ Humor
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Monday, January 01, 2007

First Day of 2007

Yappy Hoo Near!

My NYE was quiet ... I just got 24 - Season Five on DVD, so I watched some of that while working on a new knitting project. Exciting, no? No parties for me. One of the few downsides of being single ... being overlooked (or ignored altogether) on the social scene. Old, fat, single chicks just aren't at the top of most Must-Invite lists. It's just as well, since I am working today.

It's been a wild, weird year. I hope this one is calmer, saner and more peaceful. I wish I could say that I am optimistic of that.

We shall see ...

But here's a video that I thought was freakin' hilarious ... Enjoy!

Posted by LissaKay on 01/01/07 at 12:55 PM in ~ Humor
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Monday, December 18, 2006

Merry Christmas to all my Jewish Friends!

I have a deep and abiding respect and admiration for Jewish traditions and the culture. The people tend to be some of the truly kindest people ever. And the men ... oy vey! Sexy!

I have often said that I would make a better Jew than a Christian. It just fits a lot better with my way of thinking and dealing with God, people in general, life and the world. But I do love me some shrimp scampi and the occasional cheeseburger. Even if that could be forgiven, I also have a tattoo, so I don't think I will be converting anytime soon. At the very least, not while my born-again, uber-fundamentalist Christian parents are alive.

Anyway, I found this little gem and wanted to share ... Merry Christmas! Gut Yontiff!

Posted by LissaKay on 12/18/06 at 02:12 AM in ~ Humor
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Friday, July 21, 2006

Friday Guffaw

Remember that insane bit of genius video, "Crazy Frog"? You loved to hate it. Or hated to love it. You toe-tapped and laughed and had the Axel Foley theme stuck in your head all day ... now there's these two brothers, kids about 10 and 12, and well ... just watch it. Hi-larious!

Posted by LissaKay on 07/21/06 at 10:22 PM in ~ Humor
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Friday, June 23, 2006

Saddam’s Hunger Strike

Saddam Hussein, evil dictator supreme, went on a hunger strike in protest over the killing of a member of his defense team.

Oh wait ... nevermind. It's over already.

Saddam Ends Hunger Strike After Skipping One Meal
Saddam Hussein ended a hunger strike after missing just one meal, a U.S. official said Friday.
"He has resumed eating after skipping one meal," Lt. Kevin Curry told FOXNews.
In announcing the hunger strike, Khalil al-Dulaimi, Saddam's lead council, said "They pledged not to end the strike until international protection is provided to the defense team."

There was no word on the meal Saddam ate to break the fast.


Oh. My. God. Is this man just perfect for mocking or what? Time to roll out Rock, Paper, Saddam again ... and look! There's even more Saddam mockery to tickle the funny bone!

More guffawing: (but not a lot of commentary, what more is there to say about this idiot? He's a parody of himself)
Wizbang - Mini Bloggage III
Pajamas Media - Now That's Sacrifice
The Politburo Diktat - And I’ll have an extra pita with that
The Reid Report - Hunger strike ...? Not so much...
Captain's Quarters - Saddam Notes Value Of His Defense Team
Posted by LissaKay on 06/23/06 at 08:35 PM in ~ Humor
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