To Sleep ... Perchance to Dream
I have quit smoking three other times in my life. Each time I was pregnant. None of those times was anywhere near as torturous as this is now. Sure, the withdrawals could have been overshadowed by pregnancy symptoms, but I had super easy pregnancies. Really. Go ahead and hate me now, ladies ... I had not one moment of morning sickness, none of the many usual complaints ... a bit of ankle swelling in the ninth month with my first, and some back aches with the third. I could probably start a riot by telling how easy my second and third births were, from my 5'1" small boned frame ... but I digress.That said, I would rather be pregnant right now, than going through nicotine withdrawals. Read on for the gruesome details ....
Insomnia ... no one told me about this shit! Holy crap! I am usually a champion sleeper. It's bed time, lights out, I'm gone. ZZZzzzZZZzzz. My problem has always been a lack of will and desire to wake up in the morning ... not getting to and staying asleep! Sweet Jesus on a pogo stick! This is surely the root of madness, this sleep deprivation. I cannot keep my thoughts together or even carry on a cogent conversation. And I can barely stay awake during the day. My boss really loves that. But he is sympathetic ... and supportive. However, putting my head down on my desk and napping would be pushing the limits.
Brain gooze ... probably a corollary to the insomnia: I am stupid as a box of rocks these days. Speak to me and it will take a full 30 seconds for me to comprehend what you just said. I went to get my nails done this evening. The girl asks if I also want a pedicure. Pedicure? Yes ... you get toes done too? My toes. *blank stare* Yes, you want pedicure on you toes? ... Now granted, she is Vietnamese and is working hard on her English skills, but I can usually understand her just fine. It isn't the accent or language ... I just could not comprehend the word "pedicure" ... I am sure she thinks I lost my mind.
Nerves on fire ... oh yes, this is fun. It is not so bad today, but the last two days, I felt like every nerve ending in my whole body was a live wire ... sizzling, snapping, sparking. Little tonic jerks in my legs kept me bouncing my leg lest I look like I have cerebral palsy or epilepsy. Stand up, sit down, pace, pace, pace. And I itch ... dear sweet God in heaven, my arms, back and tummy itch all to hell and back! Dig, dig, dig. Pace, pace, pace.
Fooooood! I am eating compulsively. I am trying to stick to relatively healthy stuff ... nuts, trail mix, pretzels. But I have already gained two pounds. I think that is from the two Sonic burgers, onion rings and Ched'R Peppers I ate Sunday. With a side of scrambled eggs and toast (I couldn't decide if I wanted breakfast or lunch). The lasagna and cheese Texas toast for dinner probably didn't help much either.
I will refrain from describing what happens to the food I eat later on ... that would probably qualify as an over-share. TMI and all. I'll just say that it is just adding to my misery ... several times a day ... and leave it at that.
I am taking Wellbutrin to help with this. That may be what is keeping me from ripping anyone's head off. But I should still avoid crowded places that annoy me anyway, like Walmart or Kroger. I have such a lovely redheaded temper to start with. I do hope this does not get ugly.
One very hopeful note, I do not have any compulsive desire to smoke a cigarette though. None. Perhaps because I know what it feels like to smoke again after a long period of not smoking ... now that, my friends, is miserable, and is something I do not need. I do miss it as part of my routine ... while driving, on work breaks, after meals, with my morning coffee ... but I have not had the thought, "I need a smoke!" It just ain't happening. I guess this truly is my time to quit.
Keep me in prayers and thoughts though ... this ain't over by a long shot.
Hit submit to soon - oops.
Insomnia is an unpleasant side effect with WB as is dry mouth. Fortunately for me, once my body got used to the drug, both subsided. I also didn't take the full dosage, instead of two pills a day 8 hours apart, I only took half a pill once a day and it worked the same for me.
If you're taken two pills, try and take the second at least 5 hours before bedtime.
Insomnia is an unpleasant side effect with WB as is dry mouth. Fortunately for me, once my body got used to the drug, both subsided. I also didn't take the full dosage, instead of two pills a day 8 hours apart, I only took half a pill once a day and it worked the same for me.
If you're taken two pills, try and take the second at least 5 hours before bedtime.
Posted by Lynne on 09/30 at 11:42 AM
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Good luck and hope you stick with it. I usually go for 4 months or so and relapse at least once a year.
Posted by Lynne on 09/30 at 11:40 AM