Not so very merry tonight
So, I was galloping merrily along with my Christmas preparations ... brunch tomorrow at Italian Market and Grill, quiet Christmas Eve at home, Christmas breakfast here, presents with my parents and kids, then ham dinner here. I had house to clean, presents to wrap, grocery shopping and had it all laid out to where I could get it all done. The kids would help too. My son has been reasonably non-surly recently, and my daughter feeling somewhat better with her anxiety and depression issues, even getting started with some counseling.But, ya know ... the best laid plans and all that ...
We got news that the kids' grandfather, their dad's dad, had passed away Friday morning. The service was tonight. We went. Of course, this involves seeing family ... have I mentioned how much more awkward this is in this family than in most? Most of my daughter's emotional troubles are due to her father and oldest brother rejecting her ... dad because his feelings got all hurt, brother out of loyalty to his dad. The witch stirring this pot of discontent is the step-mother, who has tried to turn the family against first me, then against my younger son and now my daughter. I hope that she got the message loud and clear that we are still welcomed and loved by that family ... her best efforts notwithstanding. I hope their dad got the message loud and clear too ... choosing her over his children will lead to nothing but immense pain and misery all around.
Whatever gains my daughter made in the last week or so were lost tonight. On the way home, she was stressing out, obsessing over every little thing. Earlier she was hungry and we had planned to go out to eat. Now she's nauseous. She's now off with a friend where she hopes she can chill out. A bit of hope, she knows when she is "losing it" and knows what she needs to do to keep it together ... sometimes sleeping, sometimes going for a walk, sometimes going to a friend's house. She's very self-aware. But I still worry like hell about her.
It's now after 11:00 and I am headed out to the grocery store ... but that's not so bad, it won't be crazy crowded like it was earlier today.
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Posted by AT on 12/24 at 10:39 PM