Oh ... Really?

That's not all I have to say! »

During the dark moments and hours, when his demons raged, nothing but kitty could soothe him. He would bury his tear-stained, rage reddened face in her fur, and soon the howling would abate. When depression fell upon him and he was drowning in waves of despair, he would stroke and pet her, and doing so would bring him back into the light of day. I would hear him talking to her, telling her about all the things he had swirling through his mind.

Late September brought the changing of the seasons, and with it my son's final break. We had been living with and trying to cope with sudden volatile outbreaks of manic rage. He would be sitting quietly one moment, watching TV or playing video games, and the next running down the street yelling at the top of his lungs. The night came when he bolted out of the house, disappeared for hours, only to be found by a neighbor out in the middle of a dark, narrow road trying to get himself hit by a car. He ran into the woods and climbed a tree. Another neighbor, her two sons and I spent nearly an hour trying to talk him down, listening to him say how he wanted to die and the only way he was coming down was when the police shot him out of the tree. I finally told him that he needed to come down, it was time to feed his kitty, she was hungry and waiting for him to give her her dinner. Sobbing, scared and shaking like a leaf, he came down and walking with the utmost determination, he went straight to the house and fed the kitty. While she ate, he sat on the floor stroking her back endlessly. When she was done, he gathered her up and took her upstairs to bed with him.

The next day I had him hospitalized. It was there and then that the doctor confirmed what I already knew ... he was bipolar and his bizarre behaviors, depressions and rages were all due to that. He started on a new medication and within a few weeks, he was a whole new child. But we are still not out of the woods.

Today, my son is relatively stable. He still has his challenges. The demons and the darkness still plague him, but they appear much less frequently. Faith continues to be his source of comfort, his best friend and playmate. Sometimes it seems as if she *knows* that he needs her. Normally a very active and playful kitten, she will sit quietly with him for as long as he needs. Then when the mood is lightened, she will play with what seems like extra energy and comedy, and he will be laughing once again.

I have a long road ahead of me, getting this child grown up, alive and ready to take on the world by himself. I am frequently plagued with doubts and fear. But as long as we have Faith, I believe we can make it.

« Hush me up!