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Category: Humor

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

A Public Service Announcement

Please ... for the love of Mother Earth and all Humanity, avoid crass materialism! Don't run ourselves off of our own planet!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

What I do instead of studying

I am supposed to be studying ... writing a research paper for my American Government class. I have been distracted by YouTube once again. It's a sickness, I tell you! I watch one after another and on and on ...

But this one is just too cute ... I loves me some Muppets!



Are you tapping your toes yet?

I’m Worth More than I Thought!

This seems an appropriate post topic for the day ...





Go on ... give it a try and see what you're worth!


(via ... who's worth only $1148 ... Heh!)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Yoga … for Zombies?

You have no idea how hard it is pretending to rot and fall apart while holding a good plank pose. — Posted by Mike HERE

OK, now I am as serious about my yoga practice as the next person ... in that I try hard to get maximum benefit from it, while putting forth my best effort. It is paying off quite nicely, I might add. But I am not so serious that I can't also laugh and enjoy myself. Indeed, it is a rare class where someone does not giggle at some point or another. One of my favorite instructors also happens to have a fabulous sense of humor, and her classes always have us laughing.

So, I found this to be rather amusing:

Have you ever wished you could do downward dog with a decomposing body? Well, City Room hasn’t (doing the crow with an intact body is still an insurmountable challenge), but this combination apparently has been a niche fantasy with some population of New Yorkers.

About 75 people showed up in Williamsburg’s East River State Park for an (online) open casting call for the filming of a yoga zombie video on Sunday. “The zombie blogs were only mildly interested in it, it was the yoga blogs,” said Jason Wishnow, the director of the video.

The video is to promote The Zen of Zombie: Better Living Through the Undead. The response to the casting call on yoga blogs was overwhelmingly positive, enthusiastic and excited. So there you have it ... not everyone that's into yoga is a patchoulli-drenched, all-organic, herb-sprinkling, humorless hippie. Even zombies can get into it!

The yoga corpse pose, or Shivasana, is uh, ... dead simple to do. But if you need detailed instruction, you can watch a video demonstration of the technique. Just don't hurt yourself, mmkay?

Friday, June 22, 2007

On the cusp of the weekend

OK folks, here it is ... real simple like - PPP != 911


Yes, indeed ... piss poor planning on your part does not equal an emergency on mine. Mmmk?

So, at 4:45 on a Friday afternoon, when you discover that adding a new user to your workflow so that they can manage invoices while you're on a month-long vacation that starts in 15 minutes isn't working quite right, you do not have the right to yell at the IT support people and make like it's all their fault that it isn't working and you can't leave yet, and insist on also yelling at their manager, and the manager's manager, that it simply must be escalated to the highest of priority, and the server support team must be called in to work your issue RIGHT NOW and the whole IT department is completely incompetent because no one knows anything about your obscure little web application and why you can't set up security rights for another user ...

Now it's 10 after 5, I contemplate my gym bag and the step-aerobics class that starts in 15 minutes which I desperately need as I recall the mushroom-swiss cheeseburger, fried cheese poppers, potato chips, buttered popcorn, orange chicken, lo mein, crab rangoons and fried ice cream that were consumed this week, plus the stress of preparing for a big statistics exam tonight, and I file your ticket, email the support team that your *issue* simply must be taken care of RIGHT NOW, thank you for calling have a nice day, lock the computers, log out, hit the elevators and, beeyotch you just ceased to exist cause for at least the next hour and a half it's all about ME ...

Oh ... and then I get home after my class, rinse off the sweat, heat up leftover Chinese because despite being a bad girl all week, I have still managed to lose two more pounds, and post about this while I eat ... and as I type the last sentence of the above paragraph, Firefox crashes, but I restore the session and all the tabs come back, including the form text I have been typing! FIREFOX REWLZ!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Justin Timberlake - Eat your, um … heart out

This is the result of having nothing much to do except surf around and find weird things on the intarwebs ...



This is wrong. So wrong. So very, very wrong.

But still hilarious ...




I will never be able to go to the GYN again without busting a gut ...

BusyMom will love this one, as evidenced here and here ... oh yeah, and she's a nurse too.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

LOLOMGLMAOROFLBRBIMHOBBQATMPDQ!!

I have seriously never laughed so hard as I did at the lolcats (with tags! for your convenience!) at I Can Has Cheezburgers?

My inner 12 year old boy (nodz to BusyMom, who proudly embraces hers, when not spanking him) cackled, laughed, chortled, guffawed, snorted and had tears rollin' while browsing this site. It is not work safe, only because your colleagues and boss will be convinced that you have lost your mind.

Enjoy. But do so without beverages.

Monday, March 19, 2007

I punched a llama because your mom’s cool

I don't do memes. Usually. But I am procrastinating because I am totally lost on this essay I have to do. I could find more interesting ways to procrastinate ... like install the new hardware I got for my computer ... or get my weekly fix of JACK (Which I will do anyway .. heh!) This assignment just ain't happening, kids ... Oh well.



Swiped from Busymom.net - "I danced with a spoon because I'm a ninja."

Pick the month you were born
Pick the day (number) you were born
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

Now type out the sentence you made using the answers below:

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Top O’ the Evening to Ye

Seein' as how I am a wee bit of an Irish lassie (I'm a redheaded Irish Italian Aries ... Whew!), and this bein' the day when everyone's a wee bit Irish, I will share my favorite Irish jokes.

Imagine how different the war in Iraq would be if it were the Irish that went:

=============
Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello". The voice at the end of the phone says "Hello Mr. Hussein, it's Paddy here. I'm just a-ringin' ta let ye know that we've declared war on your country."

SH smiles to himself, "Come on Paddy", he says, "there's no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn't stand a chance." Paddy replies, "No, no,we've had ourselves a meetin' and we've decided te declare war on ye."

So SH says, "OK Paddy, now listen, I've got an air force of over a thousand planes, what kind of air force have you got to match that? It'd be over in no time." So Paddy says, "Well me laddy's got himself a hot-air balloon, and me brother used to work at an airport." Hussein laughs, "Oh come on, you've not got a hope". "Hold on a sec, Mr.Hussein, ", Paddy says, "we'll just have a quick meetin'."

So off he goes and has a quick meetin' down at the pub. "Are ye still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meetin', and we've decided that we're still going ta declare war." So SH says, "Right then Paddy, well you know, as well as the air force, we've also got about a thousand tanks. How are you going to match that.""Well," Paddy says, "I've got an old Austin, and my cousin down the road has got a tractor." "Get real, " says SH, "that's no match at all." So Paddy says, "Hold on, I'll just go and have another meetin'."

"Are ye still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meetin', and we've decided that we're still going to declare war." SH thinks this is just amazing. "Well how many soldiers have you got Paddy?".

"Well," says Paddy, "there's me, me kid, me 4 cousins, and they all have sons, and there's Bill down the road.... I reckon I could get together about 30." Laughing openly now SH replies, "Come on Paddy, I've got 10,000 highly trained fighting men at my disposal. I think you'd better go and have another meeting." "I will", says Paddy, "I will."

"Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meetin', and we've decided that we're not going to declare war on you after all."

"At last," replies SH, "What made you change your mind?"

"Well, it's those 10 thousand soldiers you see. We can't declare war on ye because we've not got the facilities to keep all those prisoners!"
=============

Say Uncle, a righteous Irish laddy himself, is tellin' a tale or two to mark the day. His St. Paddy's day post quotes Sigmund Freud remarking on the Irish: "This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever."

Heh. Yeah. We are a breed apart. Other descriptives - eccentric, odd, don't play well with others, march to the beat of a different drummer. My fav, about Irish diplomacy: The ability to tell a man to go to hell so that he will look forward to making the trip.

A couple more jokes, about Irish lassies:

=============
Four Irish ladies are having coffee together.
The first one tells her friends,"My son is a Priest. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Father'."
The second one chirps "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, everyone says' your Grace'."
The third lady says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Eminence'.">>>
The fourth lady sips her coffee in silence. The first three ladies all ask, "Well...?" She replies, "My son is a 6' 2" hard-bodied stripper, and hung like a rhino. When he walks into a room, everyone says, 'Oh, my God...'!"
=============
Seamus left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys at the pub and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
=============

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Have you ROFL’d lately?

WARNING: Finish all beverages and snacks, and empty the bladder before watching this video. You may want to have tissues on hand. You may experience abdominal muscle soreness tomorrow.

You have been warned.




H/T: SaaM