Oh ... Really?

Sunday, June 01, 2003

The Story of My Life

“Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once.” - Isaac Asimov

"Power is the virtue that makes all other virtues possible." - From the movie Enter the Dragon, starring Bruce Lee

Those are two descriptive quotes that define my Enneagram types. I score highest for Type 5, followed closely by Type 8. The Enneagram is an interesting personality typology assessment. It certainly nailed me dead to rights.

Posted by LissaKay on 06/01/03 at 12:58 PM in ~ Neat Stuff
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Tuesday, May 20, 2003

This time of year

I hate it.

The autumn too. Every year for about two weeks in the spring, and again in the fall, I suffer from terrible allergies. And nothing helps at all. Benedryl knocks me out cold, then when I wake up, my mouth and nose feel like the Sahara desert. I have now been on Claritin for the past week with no improvement. I've tried them all ... nothing works for me. Until it turns into a sinus infection, bronchitis or pneumonia. Then the standard antibiotics can be used. Wait ... I take that back. Two medications did help once upon a time ... Seldane and Entex LA. Both are now off the market.

Ugghh ... this time it is worse than usual. It started in my chest last Friday with a raspy cough that burned deep in my upper lungs and bronchials. It quickly became phlegmy and deep. Then it went into my head with sneezing, watery eyes and a crappy taste in my mouth that no amount of diet Coke can make go away.

I laid out of work today because I was literally up all night long coughing my fool head off. I had just begun to drop off once and then began sneezing. Ten in a row. I stared at the clock with the grim numbers glowing ... 4:30am. And the alarm was due to sound at 6. Lovely.

After seeing my son off to school, I went back to bed where I slept fitfully in between coughing fits for most of the day. Lying down seems to make it worse, no matter how many pillows I use to prop up with. But the sheer exhaustion from the effort of coughing makes me seek rest. The muscles in my shoulders and abdomen are sore from the workout.

These coughing fits are a wonder to behold. Strangers turn and stare when I am out in public, friends and family Tsk with sympathy. Co-workers glare impatiently. I have to stop and hold on to something, my face turns red and my eyes water as I struggle helplessly to regain control. They leave me out of breath and the resultant panting often triggers another bout of hacking. I am often left shaking and unsteady.

I await the day when an allergy medication comes out that won't make me unconscious and actually bring relief to my symptoms. This is miserable, to say the least.
Posted by LissaKay on 05/20/03 at 11:53 PM in ~ Being Bitchy
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Monday, May 19, 2003

Spring Rant

I posted the following at Global Affairs back on April 15. The post below this one, Victory, reminded me that it needs a place here as well -

I do not profess to have a great deal of knowledge about world affairs, politics or even military issues. I had strong misgivings about the US going into Iraq to strike militarily to remove Saddam Hussein and his regime from power. But the more I learned about our history with the tyrants and terrorists of the Middle East, the more I knew that, like it or not, war with Iraq was something we needed.

The statements made by the anti-war protestors made me decidedly uncomfortable, even angry. How could they not see why we HAD to go to Iraq? I am against war ... for peace. But I am realistic in admitting that sometime, to have peace, we have to have war. So I chose to ignore them and have faith that what the US was doing was right.

But today, I let loose. A couple others here noted they were in a ranting mood today ... it must be spring fever. Or maybe the collective tension we have been under with our country at war. Whatever.

Today was one of those deliciously beautiful spring days. I took my lunch outside to eat in the sunshine at work. There is an unwritten workplace policy that we don't discuss volatile issues on the clock, inside the building. Outside in the break areas, many debates ensue though. Today was no different. At the table next to mine, three young men were eating their lunch. Their discussion consisted of the same old tired, worn out, anti-war, it's all about the oil, the US isn't the world's policeman, blah blah blah that I had gotten so sick of listening to. Today, instead of simply ignoring them, I ranted back

Posted by LissaKay on 05/19/03 at 11:24 AM in ~ Our World
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Eject! Eject! Eject!: VICTORY

A powerful essay on what America is and what she stands for. I have been rendered speechless.
Posted by LissaKay on 05/19/03 at 10:34 AM in ~ Our World
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Sunday, March 23, 2003

Geek Goddess

In part to take my mind off the Iraq situation, I decided to upgrade the computers. A co-worker had some damn nice hardware for sale, so I bit. They also need it pretty badly, especially the secondary PC.

I got a new 120GB hard drive and a Verto GForce4 Ti41200 graphics card. Those will go into my main PC - an AthlonXP 1600 system I built myself in December 2001. The secondary PC is a K6-II 500 that I built up from barebones four years ago. It's the one I let the kids bang around on. The hard drive is dying in it and the sound and graphics are barely adequate. The CD-ROM has bit the dust too. So, the 40GB drive and GForce MX200 from my PC will go into the kids' and I got a new DVD/CD-ROM as well.

Posted by LissaKay on 03/23/03 at 01:01 AM in ~ Geeky Chick
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Sunday, March 09, 2003

Spring Cleaning

Oh geez I am sore! But I have a clean house. I finally got around to doing all those things that needed doing. My son was in a fit of giggles when I told him I was going to burp the bed. I said I was going to put it over my shoulder and pat its back to expel the air bubbles. I love my waterbed but its maintenance can be such a pain! My son cleaned his room and the downstairs bathroom, and even took out the garbage without a fuss. I think it helped to bribe him with pizza delivery for dinner.

Cat hair everywhere! Sheesh! Two medium-hair kitties can certainly create a fuzzy house. And when laundered, blankets, towels and such aren't rid of the fur ... it balls up and makes it look like there is a bug infestation! And Maine Coons are supposed to shed less than other medium and long haired kitties.

*Mental Note - no Persian kitties!*

We got the kitten spayed a couple of weeks ago. Her belly fur is just now starting to grow back. It looks rather silly now though. When she returned from the vet, there was no question she was happy to be home. I've never heard her purr so loudly! My son says she's no longer broken ... she's fixed now!

Now I am trying to figure out the best way to put a Shoutbox on my site ..
Posted by LissaKay on 03/09/03 at 08:55 AM in ~ Being Bitchy
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Monday, March 03, 2003

A good day ... Why do I feel so awful?

Today was my son's court hearing. He was charged with felony vandalism for scratching up a cop's car with a key. Please don't ask *why* he did this. Even he doesn't know. It's one of those weird things that only a parent that has a child with bipolar disorder can understand. “Bizarre bipolar shit” ... our life is full of it.

Anyway, they placed him on probation with 24 hours of community service along with having to follow all the rules of probation. If he completes the terms of the probation successfully, the charge will be placed on diversion. Then if he stays out of trouble for another time period, the charge and his juvenile record will be destroyed. So, he will have to pay the consequences but it won't haunt him for the rest of his life. I can only hope and pray that he really takes this seriously and doesn't consider it to be yet another thing to defy just to show his power and control.

Posted by LissaKay on 03/03/03 at 09:29 AM in ~ Being Bitchy
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Tuesday, February 25, 2003

Par for the Course

My son started at the alternative school this week. They are supposed to provide transportation to and from. Of course, that got screwed up. He was very reluctant to go, but he did with minimal fuss. I think he will settle in well there. They provide a level of support and attention the regular schools cannot. I am hopeful that it will be good for him and he can eventually transition back into regular school.

Posted by LissaKay on 02/25/03 at 11:47 AM in ~ Bipolarville
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Tuesday, February 11, 2003

Just a little Faith

I spent some pixels talking about my beloved kitty, Dakota, a big, hunk of furry love, and how he soothes and comforts me. I have another kitty, Faith, who was adopted at the same time Dakota was. We kept the names the shelter gave them, and gave them a forever home. I found them by searching PetFinder.com and hooked up with a no-kill shelter near my home.

Little did I know the impact a little kitten could have ...
She was only 2 months old when I brought her home. My son was thrilled to finally have some pets here. As I have related before, he has several emotional and mental issues, including bipolar disorder. This makes simple everyday living a huge challenge for him.

Before he was diagnosed with bipolar, he was being treated for severe depression, including high suicide risk. At the time I brought the kitties home in June, he had already started his final descent towards a complete psychotic break. I truly believe that the presence of this little kitten played a major role in keeping him from literally falling into a dark abyss from which there could be no recovery.

My son immediately started calling Faith *his* kitty. Dakota was mine. He tended to her oh so gently, keeping her eyes cleaned, her water and food bowls filled, and even scooping out the litter box every now and then. He would laugh uproariously at her playful antics, pulling strings and toys tirelessly for her to chase. At night, he would tuck Faith into the blankets by his side and fall asleep with her curled in his arms.

Posted by LissaKay on 02/11/03 at 11:42 AM in ~ Bipolarville ~ Kitty Tales
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Monday, February 10, 2003

The Prodigal Kitty

I arose Tuesday morning to the sound of the alarm clock and knew immediately that something wasn't right. I went downstairs and first noted how cold it was, and then I saw my back door standing open. Then it hit me ... my beautiful, beloved kitty was nowhere to be found. I searched his usual hiding places in vain, I ran outside in pajamas and bare feet and called for him. The damp cold eventually drove me back inside. Through my tears, I fed my other kitty, Faith. I wailed silently for my Dakota as I carried on with my morning routine.

Faith and Dakota are Maine Coon kitties. I adopted them from a rescue shelter last summer. Faith was a little kitten then, about 2 months old. Dakota was about a year and a half when I brought them home. Faith adapted easily to her new home, with the energy and curiosity inherent in any kitten. Dakota was a different story though. He hid beneath my bed and would not come out. He would come downstairs for food, water and the litter box, but if anyone moved, he would bolt back upstairs to his safe haven under the bed. I had been told by the lady at the shelter that they thought he had been abused before he was rescued. It seemed pretty likely to me, given his demeanor.

At night, after I got into bed, Dakota would come up and let me pet him. No wait, that's not quite accurate. He would *demand* to be petted and scratched. It became our routine at night. As I got ready for bed, he would pace back and forth, trilling and chirping as only Maine Coons do. I would settle in and he would present himself for ear scratching and belly rubbing. His purr was so strong and loud. I could feel the vibration through the bed. And I didn't even have to put a quarter in the bed!

For me, this relieved much of my nighttime loneliness. I am single by choice, and while I am comfortable with that, grateful even, the still of the night often brought doubts, longings and pangs of loneliness. This magnificent kitty kept me company and gave me unconditional love. He responded unabashedly to my attention with his deep rumbling purr and kneading paws. His emerald eyes would look at me with what could only be total adoration.

Posted by LissaKay on 02/10/03 at 01:23 PM in ~ Kitty Tales
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