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Monday, August 04, 2008

Two are Becoming One

So, these two geeks ... one a boy-geek and the other a girl-geek ... they meet (at a blogger meet-up), fall in love (while sitting side by side with their laptops, smart phones, handheld gaming devices, and a plethora of remotes that control the 62" wide screen rear-projection 1080p HDTV, DVD recorder, 3-disk DVD player, DTS-Pro surround sound system while they code their respective web sites, process video, write in their blogs and various other surfing activities ... when they aren't attending sci-fi cons, the latest hit movies or Twittering their lives for all to see) and decide to get married (of course announcing the engagement simultaneously on their blogs, and planning their engagement party using Evite.com). What's next? Why ... combining their lives!

We have started setting up our household. It's been a slow-paced process of moving my belongings to his house. For the last two months, I have been sorting, trashing, giving away and boxing up my stuff. Today, we moved the last load over and now we will begin to combine our two households into one. But that's just the stuff.

Other aspects of our lives are being combined as well, and in keeping with our geekhood, we started by setting up our cell phones on a shared plan (Sprints 1500 minutes shared, unlimited Everything else plan for $129 a month ain't too bad). We are moving his web site over to my hosting service (SurpassHosting ... awesome service, fantastic prices on generous shared hosting services!) and getting his new blogging digs set up in ExpressionEngine, too. My Amazon account is now associated with and can use his Amazon Prime for free 2-day shipping and we will soon combine our Netflix queues. Of course, we have our 6 computers networked and sharing files, printers, scanners and media ... ain't geek love grand?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A little more info …

We have a tentative date set ...


May 16.

Yes, I know it's a ways off, but we're in no rush. We might move it up sooner, if I decide not to take classes during Spring semester, and other practical, familial and financial matters can be smoothed out. Adam's deployment to Iraq ends in either February or March, so it won't be until then anyway. But, like Adam and Sasha's wedding, it will be out on the deck at Rich's mothers lakeside house (see pics in the previous post), so we also want the weather to be warm ... or at least not cold!

There will, however, be an engagement party very soon. Invites will be going out tonight or tomorrow, so stay tuned! We do have to keep the guest list trimmed down a bit, please don't be offended if you aren't on it. We will be scheduling a Blogfest soon though, and all area bloggers and blog readers will be welcome. Feel free to suggest dates and locations in September - keep in mind that it is good to try for weekends without a home UT game.

Everyone keeps asking me what kind of wedding do I want ... I don't know! A preacher, some vows, some prayers, the "I do"s, with friends and family around. Mmkay? Gotta have some music too. And food. Lots of food. Other than that ... I'll have to think about it.

My parents are thrilled. I think they had given up hope on seeing me married again. I was quite stubborn for a number of years. My kids think it's cool, and so do Rich's. Between us, we could have our own baseball team with my 3 and his 6, 7 to include the newest daughter-in-law, plus two grandbabies.

Oy! What am I getting into?

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Asked and Answered

He popped the question!

Friday, July 18, 2008

The move is on …

The work of moving ... the packing, sorting, trashing of all my stuff ... is well underway. When I moved into this place a year ago, I knew I would not be staying more than a year. At the time, I didn't have a precise plan in place, but I knew I would be leaving soon. I kind of had a small one bedroom or studio in mind, closer to the center of the city, where I would live alone with my two cats. That's not quite how it has turned out ... instead I am moving out to the country, into a huge 6 bedroom house, with 3 teenagers, a toddler, 3 dogs, 3 puppies and a noisy bird ... and my best friend, soul mate and life partner.

A major impetus to moving away from here was my unfortunate miscalculation of the quality of this neighborhood. Just off Cedar Bluff, in the heart of West Knoxville, this used to be a really nice apartment community with a mix of young families, single professionals and retirees - folks that seek out lower cost rentals. But it has also become attractive to some unsavory elements ... drug sellers and illegal immigrants. There is one apartment here that was housing what seemed to be about a dozen young Hispanic men. They spent most of the day sitting out on the front lawn, and every now and then a van or pickup truck would stop, several of them would get in and it would drive away. This routine repeated itself several times every day. Sometimes there would be women and small children about, hanging out with them. They clearly were not outside having a neighborly barbecue, they would quietly sit, speaking softly, watching other people come and go ... it was a bit creepy. No head nods or waves of greeting, just stares. Distrustful stares.

There were some other problems here as well ... several incidents of domestic disturbances, a carjacking and my own conflict with a neighbor. When I first moved in, I had arranged for garbage pickup at the curb. They told me the to place my bags by the curb and they would pick them up and leave a big trash can for me to use. However, they did not pick up the trash as promised, and it sat out there all day long while I was at work. Upon returning home, I called the waste collection company but they were closed for the day. I called first thing the next morning and was assured they would come get it that day. When I got home, there it was still ... but now it was in my parking space. I moved it so I could pull in, went inside and started searching for a number I could call to get this taken care of. While I was inside, someone had come out and threw all the trash bags back into the parking space, right next to my car!

I went out and at this time the next door neighbor came over and started yelling at me. He would not hear any of what I was saying ... that I DID have trash collection arranged and paid for, THEY just didn't pick it up like they should. He was aggressive, threatening and verbally abusive. Someone called the police, who came, heard my story and told the dude to simmer down. He did, for the time being. However, later on he exacted some revenge by having my son attacked by two thugs ... which resulted in his spleen being contused and a small tear in a kidney.

The trash collection company, after 4 days of my yelling and threatening to complain to the county commission, FINALLY picked up my trash. Without so much as an apology for my inconvenience, of course. I so look forward to canceling this service ...

Anyway, my new home is in a rural area of northern Sevier County, and I look forward to the peace and quiet and sense of safety out in the country. Or at least I did until I saw this:

KODAK — Dozens of officers launched a pre-dawn raid in Sevier County today, beginning arrests of 39 people indicted on drug charges.

*sigh*

Hopefully, this is just a one-off incident, they will get this cleaned up and the druggies will all be run off or incarcerated.

Heh ... who am I kidding?

Oh well, back to packing, sorting and trashing. We are taking this weekend off to rest, and spend time with family. Rich's son Adam is back from his honeymoon, and will be returning to Iraq next week. We are having a cookout up at the lake house with the whole family getting together for food, swimming and lying around the pool, watching movies on a big inflatable screen out on the deck and just chillaxin - as the kids put it.

Time to rest, relax, and reconnect ...

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Wedding Pictures!

Presenting - Mr. and Mrs. Adam and Sasha Privett! They were joined in marriage before a host of friends and family on the 6th of July, 2008 at the lakefront home of the groom's grandmother, on beautiful Lake Douglas in Dandridge, TN.







More pictures in a Picasa Web Slideshow:



This was the wedding that almost didn't happen .. the groom is an active duty Army soldier, currently deployed to Iraq. He shipped out in December 2006. His bride, Sasha, turned 18 and was able to marry in April. We learned in January that he would come back on leave the first two weeks of July. Maybe. Or thereabouts. So we went into action. Given that there was a good possibility that Adam's leave schedule could change or be cancelled at any minute, right up to the very last minute, the providers of services for the wedding would have to be flexible and understanding if the plans had to change. So it became a family affair. The planner and director was the groom's sister, Erinne. Bridesmaids were sisters of the groom, the groom's attendants were his brother and cousin. The flower girls were the bride's sister and the daughter of close family friends. The ring-bearer, wearing a kilt matching that of the groom, was Erinne's 16 month old son, Mason. Another brother, Isaac, catered the food with his employer, and good friend of the family, Stephen. The photographer was the best man's wife. The cakes were baked and decorated by the sisters and mother of the groom. The ceremony was held at the home of the groom's grandmother. The bride was given away by the groom's father. Yes ... the groom's father. Weird, yes I know. But the bride, Sasha, is practically already a member of the family, having been the best friend of Cassandra since the two were in grade school, and Sasha's actual family is a bit ... disconnected.

Almost at the last minute we learned that Adam, whom we expected to be in town by July 2, would not leave Iraq until then, and having to fly halfway around the world, arrive on the 4th. But a sandstorm in Baghdad delayed his departure for a day, he left Kuwait on the 4th, and arrived in Atlanta early on the 5th. But the next flight to Knoxville would not arrive here until after 7:00 that night ... and they still needed to get their marriage license. (Luckily, Sevier County being the county where Gatlinburg is located, has county clerk offices open on Saturdays). So, Sasha, Isaac and Adam's and Isaac's mother, Betty, left for Atlanta at 3am to pick Adam up at the Atlanta airport and drive him back up here. They finally arrived around 3:00 that afternoon.

In the end, all the blood, sweat and tears paid off and the wedding was a grand success. Adam and Sasha left for their honeymoon to Atlanta and then Savannah, GA. They should be back next Sunday, and then Adam has another 10 days before he has to ship back over to Iraq to complete his 15 month deployment. Sasha will go on to his base location in Colorado where she will attend college classes and await his return.

Me? I'm exhausted ... but it was so much fun, it would be cool to do it again real soon!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

A Public Service Announcement

Please ... for the love of Mother Earth and all Humanity, avoid crass materialism! Don't run ourselves off of our own planet!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Busy days of Summer

I fondly recall the summers of childhood as being filled with lazy, carefree, unhurried days ... sleeping late, watching daytime TV in jammies, wandering about the neighborhood with friends, swimming in our pool, picking fresh peaches and making ice cream with them ... days in which my biggest complaint was "I'm bored" and wishing I was grown up so I could go and have great adventures. Now that I am grown up and having those grand adventures, I now wish for just a little boredom ... or just enough time to get everything done!

This summer is particularly busy ... it's one thing after another. At least I don't have college classes to worry about!

The second week of June found us at the beach in Amelia Island. Not the cozy, romantic trip for two we might have wished for ... we shared a beach house with two young adults, six teenagers, a baby and a toddler! Just keeping up with the mess in the kitchen was a full-time pursuit. But we had a marvelous time anyway ... the beach was great, the water was warm, the weather was completely perfect ... and the rest of the ginormous family was at another house a quarter mile down the road. At the end of the week, we ran away for an extra night all by ourselves - no kids, no teens, no messy kitchens - for a romantical birthday celebration for two. *grins*

Upon our return to the homestead, we started making the final preparations for the wedding of Rich's oldest son, Adam. It will be on July 6 at his mother's lakeside house. Everything is going well and to plan ... well, almost. Adam is currently deployed to Iraq and is coming home on leave. Originally, he was set to be stateside on July 1 or maybe earlier. We just got notice that he will leave Baghdad around June 30 for Kuwait and then it will be July 3 or 4 before he is actually in Knoxville! They will still need to get their marriage license, and with Friday, July 4 being a holiday, that is going to cut it very, very close! There are alternative plans if the marriage license can't be obtained on the 3rd though, but we could do without this little annoyance anyway.

UPDATE: We have found out that the Sevier County Court Clerk will be open on July 4 AND 5, and that the information we had that indicated one must get the marriage license in the same county in which the ceremony is held is not correct. We are good to go on that note! Yay!

After the wedding is over, our attention will turn to combining two households. We will have about three weeks before my lease is up to sort through my 15 year accumulation of crap, decide what will be kept, what will be thrown out or sold or given away, find room to put everything and get me settled in here. (Yes, I know ... things have changed rather rapidly lately, but it's all good). I also have to get my son settled somewhere ... he has a job, but won't clean his life up enough to be even marginally self-sufficient. I am really, really trying to leave it in the hands of The Lord ... I am sure there is some solution that I just cannot see, but will soon be revealed. Ms Thang is happily settled in with her boyfriend, working at her job and letting her life unfold. (No, I am not completely happy about the boyfriend ... being that he is so much older than she, but it is her life and if that makes her happy, then it's OK with me.) Then, it will be just a couple of weeks until fall semester begins for me. Somewhere in there, I hope that I will be starting a new job ... heck, at this point, just about ANY job will do!

And so, life marches on, the pages of this chapter begin to turn. I am still a little disoriented, my life has been turned upside down, back up again and then sideways. But I am getting steady on my feet again, my spirit has the Lord to lean on ... here on Earth, I have my best friend and soul-mate.

My friends ... "This part of my life ... this part right here? This is called 'happyness.' "

Friday, May 30, 2008

Turn the Page

There is an additional chapter being written now, taking off from where this post ended ...


***Begin Private Post***

***End Private Post***

Sorry, if you don't see the private post and you want the details, you have to be registered here, AND you have to be someone that I know, at least a little bit. Go ahead, register, and if I recognize your name, screenname, blog address or what-have-you, I will move you to the special friends member list and my private posts will be visible when you log in here. Sorry to be like this, but sometimes I want to be able to post stuff that I don't particularly wish to have in the wide-open public view, or available to Exes, potential employers, former friends, certain co-workers, and random web surfers that just trip in here.

That said, if you still want to know but don't want to go through all that, in a nutshell, it's all good now.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Thank Heaven for My Kitties

They're a couple of the best people I know




via

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Six Year Cycle

I don't really recall when I first noticed, but I have been aware that every six years or so, it seems that my life enters into a new phase. Sometimes the transition is sudden, sometimes gradual. Some major events have happened mid-cycle, like the births of my oldest and youngest children. But the events that have heralded big changes in which my life follows an entirely new path have occurred very close to every six years.

The first big transition was when I was 6 years old and began my school career upon entering the 1st grade. Then, when I was 12, my family moved to a different city and I embarked upon the great adventure known as adolescence. That, of course, lasted about another 6 years, then came high school graduation and my entrance into the adult world at the age of 18. At the age of 24, I gave birth naturally to my second son after having a c-section with the first. I also had all my illusions about love, marriage, fidelity and honesty dashed to pieces when I learned that my husband had been unfaithful, and also realized that ours was a loveless marriage. The marriage lasted another 6 years, with my next big life phase starting with our divorce, which was granted a few weeks before my 30th birthday. I celebrated my 36th birthday as a licensed paramedic in the dawn of the new millenium, but the EMS phase of my life ended the next year, slightly off schedule, when I gained full custody of my younger son after his father and step-mother were arrested for child abuse.

The next six years were focused almost exclusively on my son. He has bipolar disorder and keeping up with that - the schools, the doctors and hospitals, insurance and TennCare, keeping him alive and trying to keep him out of trouble, and coping with his wild mood swings and personality issues - took every bit of my physical and emotional energy, and then some. My social life, which had previously been quite busy, screeched to a sudden halt.

I could no longer join my large circle of friends at the clubs on Saturday nights. Dating also became a thing of the past, which in retrospect was not such a bad thing, given some of the traumatic experiences I had, and continued to haunt me on occasion. I tried a few times, but my son would have none of it, always finding some crisis that would prompt him to call me over and over anytime I tried to go out. Most of the people I had thought of as friends turned away from me, probably uncomfortable with the issue of mental illness. I also had little time for anyone but my son. The stress and emotional exhaustion pretty much turned me into a hermit. What had been mild shyness in me became full-blown social anxiety. The little spare time I had, I filled with books, movies, my cats and knitting. That was my life for that six year period.

Shortly before my 42nd birthday, a great number of events started happening that, I thought, were heralding major, big-time life changes. I quit smoking. I was laid off from my job. My next job was back in the computer/technical business after almost four years in the insurance business. My daughter came to live with me. We moved to Oak Ridge. I made three major decisions ... one, to go back to school and get my degree, and two, to lose the horrible amount of weight I had gained, and three, to try to revive my comatose social life.

Wow. That's a lot of changes. Too bad only the quitting smoking has worked out well.

The job was great for about a year, then a new manager came in and it all went to hell and finally ended, and I still, 8 months later, can't find a new one. Having my daughter here has been great, but the circumstances she left at her father's caused her a lot of damage and we struggled to keep a handle on her depression and anxiety that resulted from it. Moving to Oak Ridge was a huge mistake, as it threw me back to a past I thought was firmly in the past. Within two semesters at school, I became dissatisfied with my choice of major, and still have no idea what I want to do now. And I have gained back a good amount of the weight that I had lost.

The Great Social Experiment ... now that has turned out to be very interesting indeed, and just to cut to the chase, it appears to be a total failure as well. I started by forcing myself out of the house to go to several general social gatherings, some with friends, some at work. Some of these forays were successful, others I barely made it out of the house. Once I started to get to know people, and could anticipate a familiar face or two at the gatherings, I found it possible to at least be able to relax after arrival, even though it was a battle just to get there. I even started dating again! All who know me went into a state of shock after hearing my adamant refusals to even consider the idea for so many years. Yes, a date. It turned into another, then another, and another. Before I knew it, it was a real relationship. I was deliriously happy, content, and could not believe how blessed I was. Unfortunately, as they say, all good things must come to an end - and in keeping with the way things go for me, the end was sudden, traumatic, mind shattering and heart breaking, coming at the worst possible moment leaving me just barely hanging on to the last shred of my sanity - and even that is in doubt at the moment. Not only have I lost the companionship and company of my best friend and soul mate, I had also grown to care very much about his family. My grief over this loss in my life is unbearable.

So, I have come all the way back full circle to where I was at the start of this six year cycle - no job, no social life, no hope and utterly alone as I face the very real possibility of homelessness. Other than the job, and maybe school, I have no desire to ever even try again. Although, on the heartbreak diet, I have lost 5 pounds in 3 days. But I think that spending Saturday nights with Netflix DVDs on the laptop, curled up in bed with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and my cats will do just fine ... at least until I can no longer pay the rent. I wonder if there are any bridges around that can get a Wifi signal?

Only four years until the next cycle starts ... if I can make it until then.